Sibling Revelry

Tim with his newborn sister Rysse :-)

Yes, you read that right. Sibling revelry, not rivalry. (If there is such a term! haha).

I am so grateful to God that our kids, aged almost 5 and just-turned-2, though they do have their bouts of fighting and jealousy, are overall very fond of each other and love being together.

This was displayed especially during Rysse's 2nd birthday. Tim was/is just the BEST Kuya (big brother) ever! He insisted on helping his Papa blow up her birthday balloons, decorate our tiny living/dining/kitchen area for our small private family birthday bash, and kept coming up with his own "gifts" and "surprises" for his little sis! Hubby and I are so so proud of our little man! And of his little sister of course!

I'm glad sibling revelry is more prominent in our home than sibling rivalry. Thank You God! *smiles*

Freebie Friday: Parenting Tips - Coping With Criticism

(FYI: This was taken from Mark Merrill's blog. The original post can be read here.)

Teaching your children how to cope with criticism is something that will help them for the rest of their lives.  Criticism is something that everyone experiences. When used properly, criticism is a tool for building others up and improving a person. I’m the kind of person that doesn’t just want a pat on the back.  I actually prefer constructive criticism from my wife, children and co-workers because I know that I can grow from it.

So help your children cope with criticism by sharing these two truths.

Criticism is Your Friend.

Nobody likes to be told that they’re doing something wrong.  It’s hard not to be defensive, hurt, or even angry.  But try to look past your feelings and try to see the truth in the critique.  Take the suggestions and get better.  Accept each criticism as an opportunity to learn and improve.  It may be hard to see it at first, but criticism is your friend.

Consider the Source.

Teach your children to consider who’s giving the criticism. Is it someone who genuinely cares about you? Or, is it just a person who wants to correct everyone and everything?  Sometimes we are criticized wrongly.  When that happens, your children need to know that it’s good to graciously listen to the person, but then can discard the criticism if there is no merit to it.

That’s what American Idol hopeful, Chris Medina did.  He was able to take the criticism that he got from the judges and learn from it.  He sought out and valued their input, making changes to his performance style and song choices along the way.  But when he was eliminated before the final 24, he was able to weed out the wrong criticisms and continue to pursue his dreams.  Despite the criticism.  What will you do?

My Mother's Day Message For Our Kids

To Tim and Rysse,

Thank you for the greatest gift that God could ever give me - the gift of motherhood. By being your mother, I have learned so many things about God and myself. I have seen how wonderful it will be in heaven. Through your hugs, kisses, laughter and "I love you's" I have felt truly rich and loved.

I know I have failed you many, many times, even before you were born. There were times when I (and your Papa) put you through undue stress, and spanked you too many times. There were times when we said harsh words and hurt your feelings. There were times when we did not assure you that you are perfectly, unconditionally loved, and that you are more important than our work for the Lord, and other things that keep us busy. 

For all these times and more, I am truly sorry, as I'm sure your Papa is. I want you to know how infinitely blessed, loved and grateful we feel for being called to be your parents, unworthy and imperfect as we are.

This Mother's Day, I thank you for the best gift that I have ever received. I thank the Lord for you both (and your Papa too, of course, because you wouldn't be here if not for him too!) each and every day.

Please know that Mama loves you with all her heart. I will do my best to be the best Mama for you both, and your future siblings.

May God bless you both to be holy, healthy, happy and wealthy, so that you can love and serve others!

Love and prayers,

Mama

Tim and his "Love Land"

While walking to the gate on Holy Tuesday, Tim starts telling me about an adventure he and his (imaginary) pets had. They were in a place full of "bad guys, enemies and bad people" (Grr... Cartoon Network and Disney Channel - I loathe you! This is partly why we moved to our own place, hehe!). I was trying to listen intently while babywearing Rysse, holding Tim's hand and watching the road for oncoming traffic when something Tim said made me stop in dismay.

Tim: "Then I made the bad guys dead."

Whoa! My 4 year old talking about "making people dead"?!! Waaah. What kind of a mom am I?!

But then he said something else.

Tim: "But then.. God helped me.. And the land became Love Land. The bad guys grow (*we're still working on proper tenses with Tim, hehe), and became good guys. They were kind na and good." (I can't really recall his exact words. hehe)

So a lightbulb went on in my head. AHA! Perfect time to introduce Jesus' saving love and mercy, esp. with the Holy Triduum coming up.

Me: "You know Tim, that's what Jesus does too. He doesn't make us dead, but He makes the bad things we think, say and do dead. Then He fills us up with LOVE. That's how much He loves us. Remember in your book, He died on the Cross and rose again because He loves us?"

Tim: "I know that already, Mama."

*Sighs* This Holy Week, it's time for me to reflect more on how we are raising our kids, and be thankful for God's saving grace. May we all do our part to make this world a "Love Land" for all. Blessed Holy Week everyone!

Image taken from hamlinreformedchurch.org

Wordless Wednesday

Confessions of an Imperfect Parent

Since it is still the season of Lent, which is known to be a time for going to confession and changing one’s sinful ways and bad habits, I thought it would be apt to make my own confession of sorts here. It would be my way of seeking “absolution” for everything that I have done wrong lately.

At my blogs (Truly Rich Mom and Teachermama Tina), I try to be positive and upbeat in most of my posts, though there are times when I can’t help it but be honest about my feelings of sadness and disappointment. This is one of those blog posts where I am going to be honest.

I have been struggling a lot these first weeks of Lent with questions about our parenting style. Honestly, I have no right to claim being a “perfect” parent to our kids, especially to our eldest, our strong-willed little boy. In fact, I am far, far, far from being the mom (and wife! Haha!) that I want to be. People who read my blogs and Facebook updates may think otherwise, but I am coming clean here. I AM TOTALLY NOT PERFECT.

In fact, I am ashamed to say that there are times when I can be a downright nasty, mean, people-should-report-me-to-child-protection-agencies mom. There are days when I end up losing my patience, snapping at the kids, and being physically harsh. Honestly speaking, I am NOT a fan of corporal punishment and believe that discipline is about teaching more than punishing. However, there have been many occasions when I have failed to “practice what I preach.”

There are times when I end up feeling like I am a Tiger Mom in the worst sense, and can only pray that my kids will not end up broken and bitter like the many young people I have encountered, especially during my time as a missionary to the youth. I don’t want my kids growing up thinking that I don’t love them or am always angry at them.

What I hope and pray and wish for is that our kids will grow up to be God-fearing, secure, confident and emotionally stable individuals, no matter how imperfect I am as a mom (and Hubby is as a dad). I want them to know that our decision to have them in Timor Leste on mission was born out of our desire to witness to God’s love and faithfulness, and that our decision to finally settle in Manila was born out of our desire to share God’s message of hope, forgiveness, peace and love in our own homeland.

Our family in Timorese attire during our CFC Timor Leste community’s farewell party for us

To continue reading this post, please go to my article on Philstar.com's Unblogged section by clicking here. :-) God bless all parents everywhere! :-)

On being kind

This is a picture that I saw on Alex Blackwell's blog. 

Photo from www.thebridgemaker.com

It is a timely reminder for me as a self-professed Teacher Mama who has not been kind many, many, many times - especially to my strong-willed little boy Timothy, with whom I have been engaging in many power struggles lately. At this moment, I feel like I am the worst mom (I am making a public confession here). I have not only been unkind - I have been downright mean. I have been overly physical when it comes to disciplining (or trying to discipline) Tim. I have said things that I should have not. I have done things I only regret. 

Today's first reading (Genesis 3:1-8) talks about how Satan deceived Adam and Eve, opening up the human race to sin and all its deadly effects. In the words of the writer in the Companion by Shepherd's Voice Publications:

"Now the horror story begins! We have read the story of Creation; we now read of its near destruction through the choice of humanity to allow sin to enter into the world. This decision is couched in terms of pride and arrogance – a refusal to admit that we are to submit our lives to God’s will and an insistence upon controlling, or at least attempting to control, our own destiny. Sin will affect every aspect of our existence."

I feel so much like a sinner today. And very much an unworthy mother to my children. But I am encouraged by today's psalm (Psalm 32: 5-7). 

Then I acknowledged my sin to you, my guilt I covered not. I said, “I confess my faults to the LORD,” and you took away the guilt of my sin. For this shall every faithful man pray to you in time of stress. Though deep waters overflow, they shall not reach him. You are my shelter; from distress you will preserve me; with glad cries of freedom you will ring me round. 

So this serves as my confession of sorts, but of course I will go to a priest to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation soon.

I also pray that like the deaf-mute man in today's Gospel (Mark 7:31-37), Jesus will say to me "Ephphata!" So that all that is closed to goodness in me will be opened; so that my life will be open to more of His grace, healing, forgiveness and kindness. 

Do pray for me, please. And pray with me and my hubby for our kids, especially Tim, that they will grow to know, love and serve the Lord, despite the unkindness that they experience.

For it is true that in the end, only kindness matters. But more importantly, it is the kindness that springs forth from God's love and mercy that prevails.

1st Sunday of Advent - Happy New Year!

I rejoiced because they said to me, “We will go up to the house of the LORD.” (Psalm 122:1)

For our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed; 12 the night is advanced, the day is at hand. Let us then throw off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light (Romans 13:11-12)

Happy New (Liturgical) Year everyone! :) Just sharing with you some pictures of our simple celebration of the 1st Sunday of Advent :) 


We went to mass in the morning. In the evening, Tim and I made our family advent wreath using this link from Catholic Mom: http://www.catholicmom.com/advent_wreath_craft.htm.

Look what we made! :)

This is fun! :) Even if I am sleepy already! 

I modified the craft a bit and we used some real wax candles (previously used) instead of making paper ones. We just covered them in purple paper, and the pink one we used one that was left over from my niece's baptism (she's 10 years old now! haha. Talk about saving one's memorabilia!)

Our family Advent wreath

Then we prayed as a family together. Lolo Mon and Lola Tita led us. We used the prayers from this link: http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/liturgicalyear/prayers/view.cfm?id=952 and the readings from this one: http://www.amazingmoms.com/htm/christmas_advent.htm.

Lolo leads the prayer

Papa helps Tim light the first Advent candle

Lola reads the Bible reading with the theme: HOPE

Singing Isaiah 60 together

Kuya Tim accompanies Papa on the saxophone

Good job Kuya!

Time to blow out the candle!

It's always nice to celebrate Advent and the coming of Jesus with family, especially by creating your own family traditions. Now I'm thinking of something else to do to make CHRISTmas more meaningful for the kids, and us kids at heart too of course!

How about you dear readers? How are you celebrating Advent and CHRISTmas this year? :)

Lessons From Our Timorese Family

Earlier (or should I say yesterday) our community had a despedida (farewell) party in honor of our missionary family. It was supposed to be a surprise but we already knew about it since hubby was the one who suggested it to our co-missionary, Karen, in the first place. Of course, we didn't let on that we knew so as not to spoil it for the others, who came prepared with food galore and well-wishes and farewell gifts.

Needless to say, it was an afternoon that left me with swollen eyes and an overflowing heart. I couldn't help but let the tears flow when our brothers and sisters started saying their messages, especially our young mission volunteers and fulltime workers. They are the FUTURE of the community here, and in effect contribute to the future of the Church as well.

It was especially tear-jerking because most of the farewell messages were meant not just for hubby and I, but especially for our two children, who were both born here on mission in Timor Leste. Our community members here call them "their children," "their younger brother and sister" and yesterday's despedida was a testimony to God's amazing love, that unites us all as one family, no matter what race, color, language or nationality. What a beautiful lesson for us all.

 We were also dressed up in traditional Timorese "tais", beautifully hand-woven with love by our lovely CFC women from Ermera. Even the kids had their own "tais".

 

 

I was crying so much when they started putting on the "tais." And also when they were giving their gifts for the kids. Our Timorese brethren here are much less fortunate than our own families back home, yet I could see the richness of their hearts as they bestowed their gifts and well-wishes upon our family. It taught me to be ever more grateful for what God has blessed us with, and firmed up my resolve to teach our kids to live lives that are pleasing to the Lord in the service of others.

Another lesson learned (or rather re-learned) is that being in community, one has the blessing of a positive, faith-filled support environment. And not just for yourself, but for your kids as well! What greater way for your child to develop his socialization skills than exposing him to community activities. Hubby and I were amazed just now because Tim was happily playing with his Timorese friends, despite him speaking only English and them speaking Tetun. Indeed, the language of play and laughter knows no boundaries!


But probably the most important lesson learned here was this: One should never limit the ways and means that our great God has to show us and affirm us that He alone has the BEST plans for us, He alone knows what we need and desire, and above all things, HE ALONE IS ENOUGH! Maromak deit to'o ona mai ami! God is enough for us! Obrigadu barak ba ami nia familia tomak iha Timor Leste! Thank you so much to our family in Timor Leste! We love you and will miss you dearly!

Here are more pics from our despedida. :) After all the well-wishes and giving of gifts, we were asked to give our own messages, and then were prayed over by the entire community. A cake-cutting and wine-pouring ceremony preceded the fellowship, the food was brought ala "potluck" by CFC from the different parishes. We were so blessed to have Fr. Alan and Fr. Ferdie, two very Charismatic and supportive priests with us all throughout the day (they had been there since the morning for the Vocations Forum and Closing Mass of the Singles for Christ conference).

Ba ami nia maun-alin doben sira iha Timor Leste - Ami nia mensajem ba ita boot sira husi Saun Paulo nia surat ba Sarani sira iha Efeso 5:29-30:  
²⁹Ema ida la hirus nia isin lolon, maibe nia fo han no tau matan ba nia nudar Kristu tau matan ba Kreda. ³⁰Ita hotu Kristu nia isin lolon nia liman ain. ³¹ 
 No moos: 
 ¹⁹Koalia ba malu ho liafuan salmu nian, ho knananuk no dadolin santu nian, hodi hananu knananuk no salmu ba Na’i, hodi hahi Nia iha imi nia laran. ²⁰Iha Na’i Jesus Kristu nia naran, fo agradese ba Aman Maromak tamba buat hotu. ²¹Haraik an ba malu ba tamba imi hamtauk Kristu. (Efeso 5: 19-21)