Parents for Eternal Life

I recently read an article entitled “The Teaching of the Catholic Church on Home Schooling – Parents for Eternal Life” by Jesuit priest Fr. John Hardon, and the following paragraph really struck me:

“...what they (children) mainly need is to know why God made them; why they are on earth at all; why they are in this world; that they are here in this life in order to prepare and train themselves for the world to come. In a word, children are to be taught that their short stay here in time is only a preparation for the world that will never end. They are to be trained for heaven.”

(*To read the rest of this entry, please go to my blog post on Philstar.com's unBLOGGED section here. Thanks in advance for your support!) 

The Teaching of the Catholic Church on Home Schooling - Parents for Eternal Life

by Fr. John A. Hardon, S.J.

(from http://www.therealpresence.org/archives/Education/Education_028.htm) 

Why should we ask the question, “What is the teaching of the Catholic Church on Home Schooling?”

The reason is obvious: Because we are Roman Catholics!

We know how much emphasis the Church had placed for generations on Catholic education, and for generations people came to practically equate Catholic education with institutional education. Home schooling as home education had not been the focus of the Church’s magisterial teaching until fairly recent times. We might say it was taken for granted.

But no more. The rise of global secularism on every level of modern life has placed the Church on guard. Her authoritative stress is now more than ever on the role of parents as the primary teachers of their children.

The most recent and authoritative ecclesiastical documentation on this subject is in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, issued by Pope John Paul II on the very day of the five hundredth anniversary of the discovery of the New World by Christopher Columbus.

The key word that stands out in the Church’s teaching on home schooling is the word “primary”.

Parents’ responsibility to educate their children is primary. This means, it is their first responsibility. It is primordial; it is inalienable; it is almost impossible to provide an adequate substitute.

It is critically important to understand what the Church means when she says that parents have the primary right and duty to teach their children.

On being kind

This is a picture that I saw on Alex Blackwell's blog. 

Photo from www.thebridgemaker.com

It is a timely reminder for me as a self-professed Teacher Mama who has not been kind many, many, many times - especially to my strong-willed little boy Timothy, with whom I have been engaging in many power struggles lately. At this moment, I feel like I am the worst mom (I am making a public confession here). I have not only been unkind - I have been downright mean. I have been overly physical when it comes to disciplining (or trying to discipline) Tim. I have said things that I should have not. I have done things I only regret. 

Today's first reading (Genesis 3:1-8) talks about how Satan deceived Adam and Eve, opening up the human race to sin and all its deadly effects. In the words of the writer in the Companion by Shepherd's Voice Publications:

"Now the horror story begins! We have read the story of Creation; we now read of its near destruction through the choice of humanity to allow sin to enter into the world. This decision is couched in terms of pride and arrogance – a refusal to admit that we are to submit our lives to God’s will and an insistence upon controlling, or at least attempting to control, our own destiny. Sin will affect every aspect of our existence."

I feel so much like a sinner today. And very much an unworthy mother to my children. But I am encouraged by today's psalm (Psalm 32: 5-7). 

Then I acknowledged my sin to you, my guilt I covered not. I said, “I confess my faults to the LORD,” and you took away the guilt of my sin. For this shall every faithful man pray to you in time of stress. Though deep waters overflow, they shall not reach him. You are my shelter; from distress you will preserve me; with glad cries of freedom you will ring me round. 

So this serves as my confession of sorts, but of course I will go to a priest to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation soon.

I also pray that like the deaf-mute man in today's Gospel (Mark 7:31-37), Jesus will say to me "Ephphata!" So that all that is closed to goodness in me will be opened; so that my life will be open to more of His grace, healing, forgiveness and kindness. 

Do pray for me, please. And pray with me and my hubby for our kids, especially Tim, that they will grow to know, love and serve the Lord, despite the unkindness that they experience.

For it is true that in the end, only kindness matters. But more importantly, it is the kindness that springs forth from God's love and mercy that prevails.

Disciplining Your Child

The Catholic Filipino Academy held a parenting seminar on "Disciplining Your Child" last September, and the expanded outline of the seminar was recently published online. Here is the link to download or read it: http://catholicfilipinoacademy.com/uploads/Oct2010.pdf

Hope this helps parents everywhere who have been struggling with how to discipline their kids (that includes yours truly! You'd know this if you are friends with me on Facebook! hehe) Hubby and I are both guilty of not being inconsistent in how we discipline Tim, and many times, we have been more physical with him than we should have (this is me publicly confessing our parental sins, people!). I only pray that God will mold our hearts and break them if needed, so that we can become the parents Tim (and Rysse) deserve. It is really true what was said at the 3rd Philippine Homeschool Conference: "parenting is heart work and hard work!" We need to be reminded of this always! Especially since Kuya Tim is turning out to be a very strong-willed little boy.

It's always encouraging to know that whenever we have struggles like these with our kids, God's grace is more than sufficient for us! I personally want to thank God for leading me to chat with Teacher Mom Josette the other day - her reminder that prayer, regular participation in the Sacraments, and adoration can really change one's way of dealing with the others around her, especially one's kids. This advice came at the perfect time, when I was beating myself up over how I had failed to use gentle discipline on Tim. Thank You Lord for such divine appointments! :)

What I Think About Susan Lemons' 4 R's of Homepreschooling

The term homepreschooling is not mine to claim. I first heard about it when Susan Lemons commented on my Wordpress blog. I was astounded that a complete stranger actually took the time to comment on one of my posts, and after I had read Susan's blog, I was actually honored that she did. Her blogsite has given me lots of information and encouragement towards making the decision to homeschool preschool.

In this post, I want to comment on the 4 R's of Homepreschooling as described by Susan. These are described in details in the links below (so I will not describe them anymore but provide a brief summary about them):

Relationships
Susan encourages parents to help their children "grow strong, loving relationships—first with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and next within our families." I totally agree with this!

In our Catholic community, we encourage families to be rooted in Christ. I firmly believe in the concept that every home should be a domestic Church, and so we parents have a very important role to play. Especially the fathers, they become the "pastors" of the family. The mothers become the "light of the home" (among many other things!) I have my imperfections, believe me, TOO MANY for me to share here for now (count impatience, impulsiveness among them!), but I can say that I do my best to be the "light" in our home. It is a daily, sometimes seemingly losing, struggle, but with God and Mama Mary at my side, I know that I am doing the best that I can.

Routine
Susan recommends that every preschooler should have a regular daily routine to follow. She says: "A regular routine gives preschoolers security, and keeps them on an even keel emotionally." Being the mother of two young children, our preschooler Kuya (Tagalog for Big Brother) Tim and turning-one-year-old-next-month Rysse, I can testify to the fact that ESTABLISHING A ROUTINE is one of the keys to happier, healthier, and yes, even HOLIER, children. :) Of course, there are days when the routine isn't followed, and that is perfectly okay. (Though I do confess that I obsess about this sometimes! OC OC OC!) But overall, we are able to stick to a fairly routine daily life. (Though I don't know if this will still apply after next week, when we finally leave Timor Leste for a new mission in our beloved Philippines!)

Readiness
Quoting from Susan's quote:

“When we instruct children in academic subject, or in swimming, or gymnastics, or ballet, at too early an age, we miseducate them; we put them at risk for short term stress and long term personality damage for no useful purpose. There is no evidence that such early instruction has lasting benefits and considerable evidence that it can do lasting harm.”
-David Elkind, Mis education: Preschoolers at Risk

This is a great reminder to all parents everywhere, especially those with young children. Let us let our kids BE kids. Because before we know it, they will already be off to high school, hanging out with friends, preparing for college, looking for a job, getting married, having children of their own... LIFE IS SHORT. So let us enjoy it with our kids and let's let our kids enjoy themselves as well! They'll figure out this learning thing on their own and sometimes even shock us with how quickly they pick things up!

(Check out my photos here to see how Kuya Tim shocked the life out of me when he started writing his name, after I had asked one of his playmates to write her name. I knew she could because she'd been attending preschool/playgroup. Tim said "I can do that too!" Then I said, "No you can't. Mama hasn't taught you how yet." BUT then lo and behold, he starts writing the letter T all by himself! My mouth dropped open in disbelief and amazement! Thank You GOD!)

 
Reading Aloud
Here is what Susan Lemons has to say about this:

"One of the most important things you can do to help your preschooler learn is reading aloud to him.  When you read aloud to your child, you are teaching language, vocabulary, speech, pre-reading skills, pre-writing skills, and more.  Reading aloud also builds your child’s attention span, and of course, teaches him about the world." (More on Reading Aloud here.)

I myself grew up in a home where reading was encouraged. And I am deeply grateful to my parents for that. Although we were not read aloud to that much, the love of reading books, comics, magazines was instilled in us at a young age. Even before I read Susan's post about Reading Aloud, hubby and I had already been in the habit of reading aloud to the kids. It's always a fun, relaxing time for us all. Even 11-month old Rysse has her favorite books, one of which is "Baby's Peek-a-boo Book" from Sassy. She breaks out in smiles even before we turn the first page to read it.

Based on Susan's 4 R's, I'd say that overall, we're doing pretty okay with homepreschooling. Although it's been a long time since Tim has actually wanted to have some formal "learning" time, hubby and I can be assured that he (and Rysse too!) is learning through our everyday encounters (waking up time, prayertime, mealtimes, storytime, playtime, DVD time, helping with some of the chores time, etc etc). 

Indeed it is a HUGE blessing to be a missionary family because our mission office is also our mission house. So we can have more time for the kids than most parents do. However, we will be leaving Timor Leste for home soon, and it will be a whole different situation. We will have to commute to and from the mission office in Manila. We will have less time for the kids. More traffic to deal with. Etc etc. I only pray that our desire to homepreschool the kids will become a reality somehow despite the new challenges. After all, with God all things are possible right?!

In the meantime, hubby and I will make the most of our remaining days on mission to spend time with the kids, our co-missionaries and our community members, whom we have come to call "family away from family." It will be a challenge to take the next step God is calling us to, but with faith in His plans for us and our family (claiming Jeremiah 1: 29-31 here!) we know His love will see us through! :)

With our CFC Timor Leste Missionary Family :)

We will miss you Timor Leste! Ami sei hanoin loos imi!